Quarantine Diaries
Got laid off from my job on April 1 :-(
Z and I have been navigating being around each other 24/7 and it's incredibly stressful, but we are getting through.
The dread of having to postpone our wedding has weighed so heavily on me for the past few weeks. Trying to make it through with denial on my shoulder, there came a point at which we had to decide to move our reception. We got all the vendors on board for December 6, 2020, still in 2020, but two seasons later.
Every time someone asks me about the wedding, I feel a tear in my heart. When the reality of changing the date set in, it felt like
We put in so much time and energy into planning the wedding, so much family stress mediated, and so much money on the line. Now, all of that is supposed to still happen, but 8 months from now. So for the next 8 months, we still have to deal with parents' drama, financial discrepancy, responsibilities, and the realistic possibility that we have to postpone again. I will lose it. We've changed from summer to winter.
Z and I now have the option to get married via video call. We have to apply online, and have a legal wedding online. Sure takes the wind out of the balloon, doesn't it? We don't even get the opportunity to march ourselves down to the courthouse and sign the papers in front of a judge. We don't get to have that.
We plan to have a social distance wedding. How millennial of us. A "modern-millennial, social- and physical distance" wedding ceremony with only our family present and all of our friends watching from an 11" computer screen. Awesome.
How will that look? How will we feel? Certainly not giddy. Definitely not elated. And for heaven's sake, not on top of the world. We will be staring around at the masked faces of our family, protected from the invisible threat that may or may not be present. That is not how we wanted to get married. We are not happy about this. We do not feel "blessed." Yes, we are thankful for our health, our family's health, and the opportunity to bring people together, if not ideally. But we don't get our dream wedding.
We don't get to have that.
Not yet, at least.
Z and I have been navigating being around each other 24/7 and it's incredibly stressful, but we are getting through.
The dread of having to postpone our wedding has weighed so heavily on me for the past few weeks. Trying to make it through with denial on my shoulder, there came a point at which we had to decide to move our reception. We got all the vendors on board for December 6, 2020, still in 2020, but two seasons later.
Every time someone asks me about the wedding, I feel a tear in my heart. When the reality of changing the date set in, it felt like
We put in so much time and energy into planning the wedding, so much family stress mediated, and so much money on the line. Now, all of that is supposed to still happen, but 8 months from now. So for the next 8 months, we still have to deal with parents' drama, financial discrepancy, responsibilities, and the realistic possibility that we have to postpone again. I will lose it. We've changed from summer to winter.
Z and I now have the option to get married via video call. We have to apply online, and have a legal wedding online. Sure takes the wind out of the balloon, doesn't it? We don't even get the opportunity to march ourselves down to the courthouse and sign the papers in front of a judge. We don't get to have that.
We plan to have a social distance wedding. How millennial of us. A "modern-millennial, social- and physical distance" wedding ceremony with only our family present and all of our friends watching from an 11" computer screen. Awesome.
How will that look? How will we feel? Certainly not giddy. Definitely not elated. And for heaven's sake, not on top of the world. We will be staring around at the masked faces of our family, protected from the invisible threat that may or may not be present. That is not how we wanted to get married. We are not happy about this. We do not feel "blessed." Yes, we are thankful for our health, our family's health, and the opportunity to bring people together, if not ideally. But we don't get our dream wedding.
We don't get to have that.
Not yet, at least.
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